Two things stood out for me this week and both were related as I had similar reactions to both.
Firstly, I watched a Youtube advert that actually said, “If you’re making your to-do list in the morning, you’re already behind” The ad went on to say that if you’re not getting up at 5am, if you’re not doing this, that, whatever- you won’t meet the love of your life, you won’t have a successful business etc.
Nooooo! You cannot get behind in life! If you feel drawn to be more organised, that’s great- do whatever you need to! It’s good to plan so we can see where we want to head but guilting ourselves in to following someone else’s routine will never stick.
If we listen to that attitude, it leaves no room for the actual spaces in which life happens. The beautiful small moments that make up a life that’s well lived. Moments like breathing in fresh air, taking time for conversation (talking to or at someone is not the same), enjoying food, noticing how you feel. All of these keep us connected to ourselves and natural way of being.
The second interesting thing was a Facebook post in a vegan food group I’m a member of. Another member posted with a question of quick food they eat whilst on the go as they have a busy job that doesn’t let them eat lunch. They received many replies of hurried snack type food ideas and also others sharing similar stories. I was the only one to point out that they should have a proper break under employment law, never mind for their own self-care. They replied saying they simply couldn’t, as did others- citing work pressure and no time to fit in all their daily tasks as the reason.
I was shocked at how many thought this was normal and just part of the job. It should not be acceptable to go without food or breaks at work. These rights were fought for by unions and no matter the workload, that is the problem of the employer. They need to manage the workload for their staff, not create a work culture that leaves people feeling guilty if they take a break.
I appreciate this sounds like idealistic advice if you’re in a situation where you feel no choice but to work solidly. Please remember that ultimately you control your life and how you spend the time you are given here.
Here are 5 reasons why you simply can’t be behind in life.
- There Are No Set Timescales for Life Events. It’s sad to think that past generations believed in the “right” ages for achieving life events. A time to be married by, a time to have children by. The great news is that these ideas are fading now. We realise now that we can do ANYTHING at ANY AGE and that is truly liberating!
- Others Can’t Impose Their Wishes On You. You are blessed with a wonderous thing called free will. This means we have the power to say yes to things we are drawn to and no to those we are not. Of course, there will be some things we do because it’s kind to do them but this should never contradict our own inner guidance. So even if someone asks you to work late, if it’s against your gut feeling to do so then say so. You have your own life and it isn’t to be lived in service of others at the expense of yourself.
- You Only Have Yourself as Measurement. Measuring yourself against others isn’t real. Comparison can never be accurate as there are so many variables in each person’s life. Putting your achievements next to someone else’s is fruitless as it encourages us to think negatively about all the amazing things we have done. There is room for everyone to follow what they love so don’t worry about what someone next to you is doing and how far along they are. As the next point says…
- Life is Not a Competition Personally, I’m not a fan of any competition. Sports, music, arts…why do we need to arbitrarily decide who is “the best” at something? This way of living means so many people live striving for a perfection that doesn’t exist and means the vital moments of life pass by unnoticed with the only focus being on winning. Real life is not like that. We don’t need to win at all costs because just being here can be winning if we view it in the right way. Being alive is an absolute miracle. We are all miracles and we are all unique. Let’s appreciate our individual amazingness and celebrate everyone rather than filtering people into winners and losers.
- Follow Your Own Pace. As your life is YOUR life, the wonderful news is that you get to set the pace of it! Some souls are drawn to a faster way of living, maybe in a city with lots of bustle. Others are happier with a slower life in the country and with more alone time. This may change throughout life too and that’s ok, adapt as you feel pulled to do so- this is our intuition guiding us on what pace will create the best results for us at the time. For me, I’ve had fluctuations of busyness where I’ve learnt a lot and then for the past few years I’ve felt the need for more quiet time and a deeper connection with nature and all the creative things I love to do. It’s best not to ignore these feelings or life finds a way of telling us anyway!
The main point I want to stress is that we can’t let anyone else make us feel we’re not doing enough or we will never feel we are enough as ourselves. I can tell you now that you are enough. You can do things in your own time and still meet your goals. Sometimes I make lists, sometimes I go with the flow and I feel just as productive either way.
Lists don’t make lives, actually living does!
We are all doing our best and I see that from all of you so keep doing that and all will happen at the right time
Best Wishes and Deep Breaths,